His Reflection
by CrystalMoonlightII
Summary: Even the strongest of men can only keep the truth of how they feel buried inside for so long. This short story takes us inside the mind of Reiji as he reflects upon key moments that shape his life. The human heart is both a place of darkness and light; hope and the deepest fear...
1. His Reflection

**So I was just sat here and I thought to myself about something. Have we really taken the time to explore the minds of the characters from Phantom? Do we truly understand their thoughts and feelings?**

**Anyway, this is my shot at trying to string together Reiji's thoughts during his time as Inferno's Phantom. It's just a short little something to help me flex my creative energy and put some thoughts into order. Please enjoy, and this fiction is in the first person.**

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**His Reflection**

_They tell us when we're young that we have the freedom to make whatever choices we want in life. I however, am not one of those people. Circumstance cast me down a path that is seldom travelled by others. In exchange for being allowed to exist I have become a hand to deliver the darkest of justice. Claudia, she also claims that I have the choice to make decisions of my own free, but there is no such freedom in my life. I sit lay here night after night, after falling to this floor…. My thoughts become so heavy because of the life I now live. Perhaps it is the most bitter of irony that, even though I say I feel nothing, my mind cannot shake the true extent of how I feel._

_This apartment is all I have. Two dusty chairs and a bouquet of wilted flowers decorate the dusty confines of this almost unused kitchen. I live like a machine; I act like a machine, and I even operate like a machine. However, there is one thing I don't do like a soulless creation of metal. I feel, and with every night that this cycle continues the burden gets heavier and heavier. Ein always told me I would feel numb after a time, and for the most part I let the world think that. Yet the real degree of what I feel inside is so much more._

_I pick my tired body up from the dusty chair in the living room. My feet drag me, as if wanting me to move on my own accord. I have no control over where I am being taken by the feet I own at this point. With every slow and lethargic movement they bring me closer and closer to the one place I want to go. My tired eyes see the mirror outside the bedroom door getting ever so nearer. This is the one place I do not want to go. The sight of my reflexion causes so much to flare inside me. However, the fate of seeing my own face return a glance back at me is something I am unable to escape._

_My eyes are cold; they're dark, and they are oh so very hollow. They speak volumes of a man who is at times, so very empty inside. The last year of my life has been spent acting under orders. They tell me to go outside and I do so. If I'm ordered to do a job then that is exactly what I will do. In a sense, I have traded away all that I am. Why do I do the things I do?_

_Though at times I doubt myself, there is something that makes my willingness to survive all worth fighting for. A few months ago I met a girl. This crossing of paths was completely by chance, or perhaps you could have possibly called it fate. I took her in, and choose to continue walking the path I do in order to protect her .I didn't think there would be a turning point during my existence, but perhaps must ironically, there was. There came a point in my life when I didn't believe I could fall any lower. I reached the bottom, and so much darkness surrounded me that it felt like there was no escape. I closed the doors to all I am in order to survive. However, this meeting changed everything._

_The young lady named Cal…. Against all the odds I feel alive again. She is my light in the midst of all the harsh blackness I face. Right now she sleeps soundly in her bed I protect her now, from the danger she faces at the hands of a most… curious Inferno. They wanted to end her life, and if it wasn't for me, they would have done._

_In some ways I have saved that girls life, but that has also worked both ways. Miss Devens doesn't realize that she has also saved my life by becoming a part of my world. For the first time in so long I feel like there is a part of me that lives again, it cuts through the see of horrible dead fog I often feel. Yet there is also a cost to the newfound humanity I feel. Giving me something to live for has also given me a weakness. The longer she remains by my side, the more I begin to care for her. With every passing day I feel so much more alive, and those feelings lead me to a cold realization…._

_If I lost this girl that means so very much to me, my life would begin to crumble and fall into dust. Giving me something to live for has also made me human…. Now that I'm not a machine, my life has meaning. I'm finally mortal... Now I know why I truly hate my own reflection...  
_

**End**

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**This was just a little something I did because I felt like it really. Thank you for all the support I get in my writing. I'm very grateful. Please feel free to leave some feedback if you would like to.**

**I'd like to say a double thank you for reading this. It means a lot to me. **


	2. Never Forgotten

**I like the style of this story, so I've decided to continue it. In the previous chapter we saw the full extent of the hopes and fears Reiji held. Remember the scene in the games and the anime where Reiji sees Cal after two years they part ways a rather intense manner? Well… we're going to cover that!**

**Prepare for an insight into Reiji's mind for a second time. This takes place the following night after he sees Cal again. Please enjoy!**

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**Never Forgotten**

_I remember that night two long years ago. I dragged myself toward that wretched mirror and I peered into my soul. I knew the full extent of my strength and weakness, but alas, I didn't think the gravity of reality would hit me so harshly. It didn't take long for the brief solace I felt to come to an end. Inferno believed me in league with Claudia. Like dogs to the hunt, they wasted no time in taking chase. The loft was destroyed along with another chapter in my life. Perhaps the largest wound of all was the pain I felt toward Cal. I lost her, or I believed I had lost her…_

_Though I turned and ran with Ein, I never forgot about the time we shared together. Those months in her company were enough to make me feel human. For the longest time I actually felt like a real person and not a machine. Her loss was not something I took with a great deal of ease. Even though I had escaped from Inferno's grasp, the memories of the girl with those powerful green eyes still remained with me._

_Time passed for me. It never got any simpler in my own mind, but my time away from the chaos that Inferno caused granted me a second more fragile form of relief. It was not the same as the peace I felt with Cal, but alas, it was freedom. Being with Mio in the park like I was earlier today, I was blissfully unaware of the truth that would befall me. A single bullet from a silenced pistol changed everything. My eyes met the sights of a girl on a bike, and it was then and there that I uncovered the truth. _

_Cal was alive after all of this time, the only difference now that is the burning hatred in her once so peaceful and loving eyes. She clearly holds me responsible for every terrible thing that has happened. Deep down it hurts to see her so gnarled and twisted. I feel the nausea building up within me whenever I try and thing about the vast oceans of pain that must have swept her away in the time we were apart. The sickness, I feel it in my gut. It's horrible to even try and comprehend how much darkness she felt in the last two years._

_However, I can't help that feel hope within the deepest of darkness. If there's one thing I have also found amongst the chaos of my life, is that there is hope. I believed this girl gone forever. Though she is a shadow of her former self, I see the truth of what I must do standing in front of me as clear as day. Nobody in this world is going to be able to save Cal Devens from crashing and burning apart from me. I was the one that originally brought her down this road in order to ensure her survival. I believe with all the hope I have left that I must be the one to rescue her. After all, her path began with me, and it should end with me._

_Though my legs are shaky, I struggle to my feet. It's hear that my heart takes a different turn. I can turn and run from Inferno no longer. If anything, the fate of the one love deep down depends upon it. That, and if I leave this to Erin she will deliver release to Cal in the only way she knows how. If anything, I was a pupper of Inferno for far too long. The duty to right all the wrongs caused by myself and that twisted organization rests on my shoulders…._

_Freedom isn't something I can have with ease in this world. Just like every other thing I hold dear, I need to fight for it. These hands of mine are the only things I can rely on to break free of the invisible strings that have bound me so long. I'm not Zwei, my name is Reiji Azuma. Destiny is something I need to reach out and grasp with my own hands, for the sake of Cal and myself. If there's one thing I can always hold close to heart, it's that Cal has never been forgotten in these two painful years that have passed…. It's time to finish this for good._

**To be continued?**

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**I know I've been writing a lot of Phantom lately! Once again, I'm thankful for all the support I get from the people that take the time to read my writing, I'm very grateful. I hope you all enjoyed this brief sequel chapter/ continuation to the piece I wrote last night.**

**Please leave some feedback if you would like, and thanks again! I'll see you all next time!**


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